As I ponder the upcoming new year, I think about all that I am blessed with. A beautiful, healthy family, a fabulous, sexy, husband, amazing friends, a roof over our heads, food on the table and jobs that help us with all of that.
But I have a deep dark confession to make.
Although we might appear to be living comfortably, we struggle. Every single week we struggle. We struggle enough that I lie awake many nights, with a sinking feeling in my belly, thinking about how we're going to make ends meet. I seriously can't do this anymore. Sleep is very important to me. Almost more important as my children. And that sinking feeling? I hate it.
We make a pretty decent amount of money on a regular basis - thank the higher power you happen to believe in for that. Sure, I could make more, but I happen to love my job. It's super easy, convenient and occasionally very entertaining. My husband rocks a pretty good income too. It could definitely be better. I truly believe he doesn't get paid for what he's actually worth....but...he does get paid pretty well and I'm not really complaining about that. We have a very nice home, albeit it needs repairs and upgrading...but it's big, it's beautiful and it's mine. We rarely go without. My children have every stinking toy imaginable. We have iPhones, and nice TV's, computers, etc.
And yet, we struggle.
I know, I know.
It's all in the priorities.
I understand that it's pretty much my fault. I want the nicer things in life. I grew up with a parent that was ALWAYS laid off. My Mom did everything to make ends meet, and although my parents might have gone without, they made sure I didn't.
Well, there was that one year I was going to absolutely DIE if I didn't get a pair of Nikes.
I didn't get them.
I also didn't die.
I really hate when my Mother is right.
But I only have one life to live, and I really don't want to go without. See? My fault. I justify spending money I don't have and I can't stop.
So, with all of this said....I am tired of robbing Peter to pay Paul. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT???? And for the love of God, Who IS Peter and Paul?
I'm on a mission to stop living Paycheck to Paycheck in the year 2012.
Are you living paycheck to paycheck? A lot of us are. See?
So come on. Confess.
Did you before and now you're not? I've been checking out all kinds of websites, and looking for an actual person to sit down and go over my budget and bills with me, but to no avail. Has anyone used BalanceFinancial.com? Or how about PNC Virtual Wallet? A personal bookkeeper? A financial consultant?
What do you use? Tell me. I need help. I need ideas. I need inspiration. I need encouragement. I need to get my poop in a group.
Most of all, I really, really need to hit the lottery.